Saturday, October 8, 2022

Should Parents Spank Their Children?

By Maria Merola
© Copyright Double Portion Inheritance, September 2002-2020

As a “born-again” believer in Messiah Yahuwshuwa, I have studied the Scriptures intensely since 1981, and I have come to understand that YaHuWaH, (being the Creator of all things) knows what is best for mankind. But we (as humans) reject his wisdom, and falsely believe that we know better than YaHuWaH Elohiym.

Here is an indictment against mankind for thinking himself to be wiser than the Most High:

1st Corinthians 1:19-25 says “…I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent…Has not Elohiym made foolish the wisdom of this world?”…For after that in the wisdom of Elohiym, the world by wisdom knew not Elohiym, it pleased Elohiym by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe…BECAUSE THE FOOLISHNESS OF ELOHIYM IS WISER THAN MEN; AND THE WEAKNESS OF ELOHIYM IS STRONGER THAN MEN…”

As humans, we are wise in their own eyes. We seek wisdom from those who have a PhD next to their names, but our Creator is not impressed. Even their worldly wisdom is foolishness to Elohiym. Pyschology is “the study of the mind,” but YaHuWaH does not command us to study human behavior, or the mind. He commands us to study the Scriptures, for therin lies all the answers we will ever need in life.

2nd Timothy 2:15 Study to show yourself approved unto Elohiym, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

The study of the human mind is “man-focused”; we need to have our eyes fixed on heavenly things and to keep our eyes on the Messiah:

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Yahuwshuwa the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of Elohiym.

By setting our affections on the wisdom of humans and earthly psychologists, we then became carnally minded.

Romans 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Romans 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against Elohiymfor it is not subject to the law of Elohiym, neither indeed can be.

Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Would you consult a sewing machine manual to repair your car? Or would you consult the manufacturer’s manual? The answer to that question is obvious. YaHuWaH is our manufacturer and He has all the answers in His “manufacturer’s guide,” the Scriptures.

Today in our society, we have moved away from the precepts of the Torah and the commandments of YaHuWaH. The Puritans, who came over from England on the Mayflower, had set out to make this a nation that was dedicated to obeying the principles of the Torah (commandments of YaHuWaH). 

But the rebellious Masonic Order and witchcraft have crept into our culture, our government, and in our churches. As a result, America has greatly strayed from being a “Judeao-Christian” society. Our forefathers, who founded this nation, founded it based on biblical principles. The Puritans and early settlers used the Bible as their sole inspiration for writing laws and legislation. Unfortunately, today “man’s opinions” have taken precedence over the sovereign word of our Creator.

As a shepherd, King David knew that it was a common practice in the Middle East to break the leg of a wayward sheep, to prevent it from straying again.

Psalm 51:8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which you have broken may rejoice.

David used a well-known practice among shepherds as a metaphor for the discipline he had received from YaHuWaH over his sins against Bathsheba and her husband, Uriah.

In Genesis 32:24-25, we read about the patriarch, Jacob who understood this practice of breaking the leg of a disobedient sheep. Jacob had been a shepherd for many years, as he raised up the sheep of his father-in-law, Laban. When Jacob had an encounter with Elohiym, it says that he wrestled all night until the break of day:

Bereshiyth (Genesis) 32:

24 And Yaaqob (Jacob) was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.  

25  And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Yaaqob (Jacob)s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.  

31  And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh.  

After Jacob had this encounter with Elohiym, he was changed forever, but he was left with a limp. He would never walk the same again, for he would always be reminded of when he gained the birthright through deceiving his father, Isaac. Nevertheless, YaHuWaH blessed Jacob, giving him a new name, Yisrael, and declaring to him that he had been given “power with Elohiym,” because he had prevailed and overcame his adversities.

Those within the household of faith who oppose spanking children, will try and debunk the historical validity of this practice.

But there is historical evidence for this practice, as it is still done so to this day.

In Proverbs 22:15  it says “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

The word “rod” in this passage is translated in the original Hebrew as “a branch from a tree” or a wooden stick:

#7626 shebet shay-bet: rod, staff, branch, offshoot, club, sceptre, staff, shaft of spear, dart, club (of a shepherds implement). 

A Good Shepherd Uses a Rod to Protect

*Disclaimer: What you are about to read is not meant to suggest that we should break the leg of a child! It is simply a metaphor!

The “rod” is what a shepherd uses to lovingly guide his sheep away from evil. If a lamb is about to stray off to where he is susceptible to danger or being eaten by a wolf, then the shepherd must beat the lamb with his shepherds staff in order to deter him from straying again. The little lamb must feel pain in order to understand the severity of disobeying his shepherd. It could cost him his life if he does not obey the shepherd, so the shepherd must allow him to “feel pain” as a strong enough deterrent that would prevent him from repeating the same foolish behavior again. If the shepherd simply gives the lamb a verbal warning, the lamb will once again be tempted to stray and he could be eaten by a wolf!

The Painful Blow of the Shepherd’s Rod

The Shepherd loved His little lamb, And gave it His tender care And followed it with His loving eyes As it wandered here and there. And as He sat by His grazing flock Who so meekly His voice obeyed, He pondered sadly His little lamb As again it strayed. 

The little lamb had a loving heart, And adored His Shepherd, true, But would turn aside and seek his own way As lambs so often do. With his gentle voice the Shepherd called, To His loved and straying lamb, “Come back, little one, for you are not safe Unless you are where I am.” 

But still the lamb would soon forget And unthinkingly wander away, And not really noticing what he did, From the Shepherd’s side would stray. Until one day, the Shepherd kind Took His rod in His gentle hand, And what He then did seemed so cruel That the lamb could not understand. 

For with one sharp and well-aimed blow Down the rod so swiftly came That it broke the leg of the little lamb And left it crippled, and lame. 

Then the little lamb, with a cry of pain, Fell down upon his knees… And looked up at his Shepherd, as though to say, “Won’t you explain this, please?” 

Then he saw the love in the Shepherd’s eyes As the tears ran down His face, As He tenderly set the broken bone, And bound it back in it’s place. Now he was utterly helpless, He could not even stand! He must trust himself completely To his Shepherds loving hand. 

Then day by day, ’till the lamb was healed From the flock he was kept apart… And carried about in the Shepherd’s arms And cradled near to His heart. 

And the Shepherd would whisper gentle words Into his now listening ear… Thus he heard sweet words of love That the other sheep could not hear. 

He felt the warmth of the Shepherd’s arms. And the beat of His faithful heart… Until it came a blessing to seem, By his weakness to be set apart. Every need of the little lamb By his Shepherd so fully was met That through his brokenness he learned What he never again would forget. 

And as the broken bone was healed, And once more became whole and strong… Wherever the Shepherd’s path would lead, The lamb would follow along. 

Thus at the Shepherd’s side he walked So closely, day by day, For once a lamb has a broken leg It will never again go astray. For the cords of love had bound it so In its hour of weakness and need… That is had no desire to wander away, When once again it was freed. 

Could it be you are broken today, And you cannot understand The painful blow of the Shepherd’s rod Nor believe it came from His Hand? 

He only seeks, by this painful thing, For a time to call you apart… To cradle you close in His loving arms, And draw you near to His heart. 

So look up into your Shepherd’s eyes, And earnestly seek His face… And prove in the hour of your weakness and need The sufficiency of His grace. 

For as you are borne in His loving arms, And carried there, day by day… He will bind you so close with the cords of His love That never again will you stray!

The rod  is also symbolic of the cross (stauros) where our Messiah Yahuwshuwa was crucified.

#4716. stauros stow-ros’ from the base of 2476; a stake or post (as set upright), i.e. (specially), a pole or cross (as an instrument of capital punishment); figuratively, exposure to death, i.e. self-denial; by implication, the atonement of Christ:--cross.

#4717. stauroo stow-ro-o from 4716; to impale on the cross; figuratively, to extinguish (subdue) passion or selfishness:--crucify.

Notice that the Greek word for “cross” means self-denial and it also means to subdue the passions and selfishness of the flesh.

As human beings, we are all born with an “evil inclination” to sin. Because Adam & Eve sinned in the garden, consequently, all humans have been born with a fallen nature.

All other forms of discipline (other than spanking a child on the buttocks) with the “rod of correction” will always fail to produce the desired result in the long run. Other forms of discipline such as “time out” or “having a talk with your child” or distracting him with another activity, or taking away privileges does not purge the “evil inclination” from their soul!

Unless we apply the “rod of correction” to the buttocks of a child (when he is willfully disobedient or has a rebellious attitude), then we will not be able to teach him to “crucify” his sinful nature:

Romans 6:6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with himthat the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

Galatians 5:24 And they that are Messiah’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

The cross (stauros) that our Messiah was nailed upon was made from a tree, and thus a “rod of correction” is a branch that comes from a tree. The curse of the sinful nature can only be  broken with a rod from a tree!

Galatians 3:13 Messiah has redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangs on a tree:

The serpent beguiled Eve in the Garden while he was inside of a tree. He tempted her with the fruit also from that tree. In order for that curse of the sinful nature to be broken off of your child, you must use a tree to discipline him and to crucify the sinful nature inside of him!

Acts 5:30 The Elohiym of our fathers raised up Yahuwshuwa, whom you slew and hanged on a tree.

Acts 10:39 And we are witnesses of all things which he did both in the land of the Jews, and in Jerusalem; whom they slew and hanged on a tree:

Acts 13:29 And when they had fulfilled all that was written of him, they took him down from the tree, and laid him in a sepulchre.

In Proverbs 11:30, it states that “the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life.”

If we are “righteous” by faith in Messiah, then we will obey his commandments and precepts about how to discipline our children. The fruit of our labors will then become like a “Tree of Life.”

I aim to help educate parents of Yah’s divine plan of how to properly discipline children so that, their children will be saved from destruction and ultimately eternal damnation. Our children are the “fruit of our womb and of our labor”. So this passage of scripture in Proverbs 11:30 takes on a whole new meaning.

The only thing that actually “drives out” the evil inclination that we are all born with is the “rod of correction.”

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod (branch) of correction shall drive it far from him.

The Hebrew word for foolishness is as follows: 

#5039 nbalah neb-aw-law' feminine of 5036; foolishness, i.e. (morallywickedness; concretely, a crime; by extension, punishment:--folly, vile, villany.

Someone might say “but a child is innocent, so how can he be morally wicked”?

In Psalms 51:5, YaHuWaH tells us that all human beings are all born with a selfish sinful nature:

“Behold, I was shapen in iniquity: and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Foolishness is a wrong attitude, and a lack of understanding of who we are in relationship to YaHuWaH our creator. When we assume the right to assert our own will over YaHuWaH Elohiym and the authority figures that He has placed over us, (such as parents, teachers, police, lawmakers) etc. then we are behaving “foolishly”, because authority will always win.

The “truth” is a person, his name is Yahuwshuwa Messiah. 

He declared in John 14:6 “I am the Truth the way and the life, no man can come to the Father except by me.” 

Yahuwshuwa is the “truth” personified. His Holy Scriptures are our “blue print” for a successful life here on earth.

When we resist his truth, and his final authority, the final outcome will be DESTRUCTION.

Look at our teenagers today, (a bi-product of children raised in daycare centers devoid of Yah’s wisdom). Our teenagers have no respect for authority; they bring guns to school and shoot teachers and fellow students. They are violent because they have not been disciplined according to the instructions of our creator.

A recent statistic was broadcast on the news in 2001. It stated that children placed in daycare centers since infancy are more likely to become violent. Why? Because spanking is not allowed, therefore, violent and selfish attitudes (which stem from the sinful nature we are born with) goes unchecked. Wrong attitudes are not dealt with. I constantly hear parents telling me that their children are bit by other children in daycare centers, and nothing can be done about it. The parent is usually called from his job to come and take the child home. After several incidents, the child is removed permanently from the daycare program. This behavior would be quickly resolved if spanking according to the instructions of the Bible would be implemented in daycare centers and schools the proper way.

We are all born with a desire to do wickedness more than good. Many falsely believe that children are taught to misbehave. To a small degree, this may be true, but for the most part, we are inherently evil by nature, that is why we need to be “born again.” 

Yahuwshuwa said in John 3:5 “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of Elohiym.”

If YaHuWaH allowed people to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven with our old selfish nature, then it would cease to be heaven! The unregenerate nature of sinful man would turn Heaven into Hell. The illustration of a caterpillar being changed into a butterfly is one of those things in nature that our creator has given us to illustrate a picture of being “born again.” When we surrender ourselves to the authority of our Messiah and his instructions (Torah), our nature changes so that we desire to do good instead of evil. Even though bad habit patterns may persist, our heart motive will be changed as we seek to please YaHuWaH and no longer to please ourselves.

Back in 2003, (when I used to be a licensed daycare provider), I attended a training seminar hosted by the department of Social Services. There were many daycare workers present who complained about children biting and drawing blood, choking each other, and all that could be done was to dis-enroll the child. The “time out” method DOES NOT WORK!

Our nervous system responds to stimulus. That is why when we experience pleasure, often times we become addicted to that pleasurable experience. The physical pleasure people experience as a result of viewing pornographic images or having sexual experiences, releases endorphins that causes that experience to be “etched” on the brain. This is why many people become addicted to sexual deviations which lead to crimes against women and children.

Similarly, people become addicted to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, food, etc. when pleasure is experienced in their nervous system from these wrong vices.

Spanking, in a positive way, also produces the “stimulus” necessary to “teach” our nervous system and our conscience to be sorrowful and to grieve when we do wrong. Sitting in “time out” does not provide that stimulus. 

In 2nd Corinthians 7:10 it says “For godly sorrow works repentance to salvation…but the sorrow of the world works death.”

What that means is that when we disobey YaHuWaH Elohiym and His principles we should experience “godly sorrow.” Our conscience should bother us to the point where we will cry and produce a genuine change or repentance. When people are only “sorry” because they were “caught”, or because they reap consequences, it will not produce repentance in the human heart.

Psalms 51:17 says “the sacrifices of Elohiym are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O Elohiym you will not despise”

The pain a child feels on his or her bottom is intended by our creator to produce tears and godly sorrow. The “eyes are the window to the soul.” When we cry, our tears contain saline (a cleansing agent), and this is what cleanses our soul from the evil within our hearts. It’s like being baptized in your soul. Putting a child in “Timeout” will not produce the pain and tears necessary to produce humility, and a tender conscience.

We sit in a chair to eat dinner, to watch television, and to do just about everything else. Sitting in a chair as a punishment is “more of the same thing.” There is no “shock value” in that.

Our buttocks were created by our creator with spanking in mind. Our buttocks have no bones that can break. It can feel pain without any injury. Proverbs 10:13 says “the rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.” You will notice that Elohiym is not addressing merely bad outward behavior, but the attitude of the heart. Here, in Proverbs 10:13, he is saying that the rod is for the back side of those who lack understanding. Having a lack of understanding will lead to  wrong attitudes and behaviors.

Many people argue that spanking is teaching a child to hit and to be violent. This is a misconception. The Bible teaches that the result of proper biblical discipline will produce “the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11). Children know the difference between an objective spanking ministered in love and a beating springing from hostility and anger. The word of our creator assures us that the fruit or result of loving parental discipline is peaceful self-control. 

Proverbs 23:13-14 says “Withhold not correction from the child: for if you beat (spank) him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall beat (spank) him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.”

You will notice that YaHuWaH is not treating this as an option, but rather a commandment to parents by saying “you shall” beat your child in order to save his soul. Parents are given a very serious charge that they are responsible for their child’s eternal destiny! We are charged with a responsibility to spank our children in order to save them from going to Hell!

Hell is a very real place. I have known people who have died clinically and have gone there in the spirit, but YaHuWaH Elohim allowed them to come back to testify of their encounter with Hell. The Bible says that Hell is a place of eternal torment and that there will be “weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Proverbs 19:18 says “Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying.”

A child’s crying should not make us want to spare the rod. His crying is healthy for his soul. It helps him to overcome his guilt. It has been statistically proven that children who are not spanked grow up to be very angry and guilt ridden, causing them to become violent. I can personally attest to having been married to a man who was never spanked. He was and still is very abusive, angry and violent.

YaHuWaH says “blows that wound” actually cleanses away evil and makes our conscience clean!

Proverbs 20:30 says “Blows that wound cleanse away evil: strokes make clean the innermost parts.”

Everyone would agree that if a child had terminal cancer, that a painful procedure of surgery and/or chemotherapy would be a “necessary evil” to save the life of that child. Such is the case with spanking. I would often get emotional and “teary-eyed” when I had to spank my children, yet I knew that it was necessary to save their lives from destruction. I never enjoyed spanking---it hurt me to have to hurt their little bottoms. But I realized I was helping them in the long run.

When my two sons were little, I would spank them for willful disobedience, for wrong attitudes, temper tantrums, sassing etc. After the spanking was administered, I would leave them alone for a few minutes to reflect on what they did. I returned to their room and comforted them with words of encouragement and love. I would show them these Bible verses and explain that I was spanking them because I love them and that I had an awesome responsibility before Elohim to save their soul from Hell. I would hug and kiss them, and then ask them if they wanted to pray to YaHuWaH Elohim about what they had done. They always wanted to pray. Then I would let them pray in their own words their sincere, heartfelt prayer of repentance, asking YaHuWaH Elohiym to forgive them and to change them.

The result was true humility and appreciation towards me for spanking them. They would say to me“Thanks mom, for loving me enough to spank me when I disobey.” I would try other forms of discipline such as restriction from privileges, but that only made their attitude worse as they sassed and argued, and became disrespectful in their demeanor towards me. This would go on for the duration of the restriction as I would become completely exasperated.

Finally, I would spank them for their defiant attitude, and there would be sincere genuine humility instantly after the spanking was administered! Instead of sassing and backtalk, I got a tearful, sincere apology, “I’m sorry mom for upsetting you” accompanied by a hug and a smile. Today both of my sons (Elijah & Jeremiah) thank me for spanking them. They have experienced the calming effect that is has on their soul. It puts to rest a guilty conscience.

I would tell my children that the pain they experienced on their butt was to remind them of the pain they would feel in Hell if they continued to rebel against our creator, his commandments, and His authority. I would also tell them that the pain was to remind them of the intense suffering that our Messiah Yahuwshuwa went through in order to purchase our salvation. I would explain to them that we should not only be sorry for the painful consequences that we experience when  we sin, but we should be sorry because of how much it hurts our Heavenly Father when we sin against him.  

Proverbs 29:17 says “Correct your son and he shall give you rest; yes, he shall give delight unto your soul.”

Once the spanking was administered, there was genuine peace for me and for them.

Many people in society incorrectly state that spanking is child abuse. But I say that “Spanking prevents child abuse.” Many people refrain from spanking because our society has brainwashed us to believe that it is wrong. So the child’s behavior goes uncorrected, making him worse and worse. Finally the parent becomes so frustrated from having no positive results, that the parent snaps and goes crazy beating the child in anger. Neglecting to spank then becomes the cause of child abuse.

Proverbs 13:24 says he that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes (diligently).”

One of the most destructive things a parent can do to his child is to withhold the rod of correction by not spanking. But one of the most loving things is to apply the rod of correction “every time” without hesitation or idol threats and with consistency.

The Bastard’s Curse

I have known parents who have adopted children, and for some reason, they feel sorry for the child as they reason to themselves “since he is adopted and rejected by his natural parents, I don’t want him to feel even more rejected by spanking him.”

These parents think that they are protecting their adopted child, when in reality; they are actually bringing their child under what is called “the bastards curse.”

We read about this principle in Hebrews 12: 

5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks unto you as unto children, My son, despise not you the chastening of YaHuWaH, nor faint when you are rebuked of him:

6 For whom YaHuWaH loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives.

7 If you endure chastening, Elohiym deals with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chastens not?

8 But if you be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards, and not sons.

*Note: if a child is not spanked, then he continues to feel like a bastard or an illegitimate child. But once the spanking is administered, he suddenly realizes that he is a true son!

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11Now no chastening for the present seems to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

1Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see YaHuWaH:

15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of Elohiym; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.

17 For you know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

What is this saying? In Hebrews 12, we are being taught a very important principle! When we are being disciplined by YaHuWaH it is for our benefit that we might be partakers of his holiness!

Philippians 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

In order to be conformed into the image and likeness of our Messiah, we must be willing to suffer with him. Likewise, we must teach our children the importance of suffering painful consequences for willful disobedience and wrong attitudes. Through “suffering” we teach our children how to know YaHuWaH and how to be conformed after the humble attitude of our Messiah.

Finally, I want to address another misconception. Many people say that spanking should be reserved for the parent of the child only. I agree with that concept if the parent will stay home and raise the child apart from daycare and institutions.

But what I see is that most children are with the daycare worker or the school teacher more hours per day than with the parents. The parents have no opportunity to correct wrong disobedient behavior. Because parents are tired when they return from work, and don’t feel like applying discipline to their child, (especially when the parent feels guilty about leaving the child all day long) the child never receives that needed discipline in order for them to learn obedience.

Quite frankly, I don’t agree with the concept of daycare, even though I have been in the daycare business. I feel that YaHuWaH’s design for the family is for the Father to provide, and for the mother to stay home and teach the children, even to “home-school” if possible. I believe that parents should be willing to sacrifice the extra material things in life, settle for a less expensive house, cars, furniture etc. in order to be the parent that YaHuWaH has called each and every one of us to be. I realize that some people are not able to do this, so I am not judging you if your circumstances don’t allow you to stay home with your children. But if the parent must relinquish the role to a daycare provider and/or teacher, then the child will need consistency in being disciplined the same way at school or at daycare as he or she is at home. Otherwise, there will be much confusion and conflicting standards in the child.

It is for this reason that I have taken a very strong stand in believing that laws should be changed to allow for “loving correction” in the form of spanking (not abuse), in daycare centers and public schools (of course only with the parent’s written permission). I know that in the past, some have abused corporal punishment, so now we’ve “thrown out the baby with the bathwater.” We’ve gone from one extreme of being so authoritarian, and harsh to so completely the opposite that both extremes produce the very same result in children, which is rebellion against authority.

Author and Pastor, Larry Tomczak, had written a book in 1981, that totally revolutionized my way of thinking when it comes to child discipline. The title of the book is “God, the Rod, and Your Childs Bod.”

In this well balanced approach to child discipline, Larry Tomczak explains the need for parents to transfer their authority to the babysitter in their absence, so that the child understands that nothing has changed just because they are at the babysitter’s house. The child needs to know that the same rules apply no matter where they are. This helps build consistency and stability in children and helps them to feel more loved and secure.

When I would leave my children with a sitter or with my parents, I would put in writing a step-by-step detailed outline of how I wanted my children to be spanked, the method of spanking and what things warranted a spanking, etc.

In a daycare center setting or in a school, I believe there needs to be specific and detailed training to daycare workers and teachers that is much like CPR training. Spanking children should always without exception be done in a loving, non-threatening way. There should be no anger displayed by the person administering the spanking. It should always be followed by hugs and tender words of encouragement. Spanking should never be done openly in front of other children, so as not to humiliate and embarrass the child. The daycare worker or teacher should remove the child from the classroom and administer the spanking in front of one or two witnesses who are adult staff members, to insure that it is administered properly. 

We should never use our hands to spank with. Our hands are instruments of love to caress and hug with. This is why YaHuWaH commands us to use a “rod” or stick. The child will become confused if a parent uses their hand one moment to caress with and in the next moment to spank with. This will be too unpredictable for the child. The child will “flinch” every time the parent raises their hand to reach for them or to hug them. When the “rod” comes out, then the child will know that their behavior is being punished, not their “person.” Another advantage of using the “rod” is that once the child has experienced the pain of the rod, just showing a child the rod is often sufficient to control their unruly behavior. Many parents threaten “I’m gonna spank you if you don’t stop that,”  but they don’t follow through with their idol threats and the child learns not to take the parent seriously.

Having a visual incentive by seeing the rod is more effective than “idol threats.”

My two sons attended a Christian elementary school when they were in 1st and 3rd grade. The school had these same discipline policies, as I have mentioned, and my children flourished from this type of environment. Their grades were excellent, they were very well adjusted and they loved being at school. When as a single parent I could no longer afford the tuition for Christian school, and had to place them in public school, I had many problems with teachers calling me at work about behavior problems. This had cost me my job more than once. I had to leave my jobs to go pick up my child, or they were suspended from school etc. My children knew the rules were different at public school, so they “tested” the new environment to see how far they could go. Their grades suffered, and they hated school.

When I was in High School back in the 1970’s, corporal punishment was still allowed in public schools and it made all the difference in the world for the level of respect the children had for the teachers and authority. I can remember being spanked in the hallway by my math teacher in 9th grade because I was talking to my girlfriend and ignoring her teaching. She warned me twice and I continued to talk. She finally ordered me out of the classroom, went and got another teacher and the principle, and made me bend over while she gave me 3 hard swats. I cried, and I felt so much remorse for disrupting her class. I apologized to her and meant it from my heart. I always respected her for that, and she treated me kindly.

We as a society need to go back to those days of allowing corporal punishment, but also integrate a more conscientious training program to help workers and teachers avoid the imbalances of the past that have caused people to frown on corporal punishment.

In Romans 13 it says “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of Elohiym: the powers that be are ordained of Elohiym. Whosoever therefore resists the power, resists Elohiym: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation….For he is a minister of Elohiym to you for good…for he bears not the sword in vain:for he is a minister of Elohiym, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that does evil.”

In this passage of scripture, the “powers” are referring to government and the laws of the land. YaHuWaH is saying that we are to be subject to the laws of the land.

Some people rationalize that we should obey the laws that prohibit any type of corporal punishment in daycare centers and schools. However, unless the laws of our land are not in keeping with the scriptures, we must defer to a higher law---the laws of our Creator. I believe we should lobby for discipline to be enforced once again in public schools. We must pray that the laws of our land will be changed to reflect his loving instructions.

There are situations where followers of Messiah have to make a judgment call as to which laws takes precedence, (the commandments of YaHuWaH or the laws of the land). Whenever they conflict, we must adhere to the laws of our Creator, and his commandments rather than the laws of the land.

An example would be that of Daniel the prophet in the Bible. Daniel was told that it was against the law in Babylon, (where he had been taken captive) to pray to his Elohiym. The penalty for praying to his Elohim was to be thrown into a pit with hungry Lions. Daniel knew the consequences, yet he continued to pray to YaHuWaH with his windows open, for all to see.

Daniel was not afraid. He was willing to die for what he believed. He loved YaHuWaH enough to risk his life. Because Daniel was faithful to obey YaHuWaH instead of the laws of the land, the Lion’s mouths were kept shut by the angel of YaHuWaH, and Daniel was saved. As a result, King Darius changed the law that prevented people from praying to Daniel’s Elohiym as he also became a believer in YaHuWaH Elohiym. Those evil men who plotted to have Daniel destroyed, had invented those laws against praying to Daniel’s Elohiym, but in the end, their evil scheme came back on them. King Darius changed the law to state that those who don’t pray to Daniel’s Elohiym should be thrown into the Lion’s Den. The men who schemed against Daniel were then thrown into the Lion’s Den, because they did not believe in Daniel’s Elohiym.

With regard to the corporal punishment issue, (even though I personally believe in it, I realize that the laws of our land prohibit spanking or any other kind of corporal punishment in daycare centers or public schools. We obviously recognize that we must be subject to those standards when we are in these public settings even though we strongly disagree. However, when we are at home, we should not fear the consequences of man made laws for spanking our children. Like Daniel, we should be fearless in administering discipline as set forth in the scriptures, and trust that YaHuWaH will take care of the rest as he did with Daniel.

The Lunacy of the Anti-Spanking Experts

One such case of a man who is being wrongfully charged with child abuse is Pastor Barry W. Barnett, 43, from Wisconsin. He has been arrested for spanking his 12-year-old son for lying. The father has been released on a $10,000 bond but could face up to 3 years in prison if found guilty of felony charges of abuse against his children. See the full story at this website:

I want to continue to make it my mission, as I exercise my “Freedom of Speech” to speak out against what I believe to be an injustice towards children, by withholding loving correction (in the form of spanking) from them, thus leaving them deficient of a healthy conscience, and a lack of godly character.

As parents who follow the Messiah Yahuwshuwa, we need to stand up for our rights to discipline our children and cry out against this tyranny in American that punishes parents for loving their children and for obeying the commandments of YaHuWaH.